The Longest Yard

If you're expecting a documentary then you will be disappointed.

Adam Sandler plays the role of Paul Crewe, a disgraced former professional football player, who is sent to prison after a crazed drunk driving spree. Naturally enough, the warden at this particular prison enlists Crewe's help to improve his semi-professional football team of prison guards. Paul suggests the groundbreaking idea that Warden Hazen (James Cromwell) have his team play a tune-up game to get ready for the actual season. The final step in this logical progression is to assemble a rag tag team of inmates to play said tune-up game.

The audience is treated to the customary recruitment of the biggest, meanest, most dangerous neanderthals capable of crushing the opposing guards on the line. If the convict is so dangerous and mean as to be completely non-verbal, all the better. Little known fact: if a guy doesn't speak to you when you ask him a question, then he will therefore be good at football. Paul Crewe, the Caretaker (Chris Rock), and Coach Scarborough (Burt Reynolds) waste no time in finding these hardened men to round out their team. Check. Now, it's on to finding a good running back. Ah, they spy a group of intimidating black men playing basketball, one of them being Nelly. They recruit him. He is fast. Yay, now we shall surely win our football game after a little bonding over our mutual hatred of the guards! And so on.

What I really liked about this movie was that it didn't waste any time with good dialogue and plot development in getting straight to the point. Considering that this is not a movie that has any aspirations to be in the Oscar hunt, however, I thought that it did its job remarkably well. It was funny, and the characters were likable to the point that the viewer can be drawn into the story. Despite his lack of proper footwear, I liked Nelly's character, and James Cromwell is great in any film, no less so as the warden in this one. Goldberg and Stone Cold Steve Austin are also awarded appearances, and I appreciated the inclusion of Michael Irvin on the inmate team, being that he played for the Cowboys in the mid-90's and all. These were all very nice touches.

The Longest Yard was precisely the kind of predictability I paid to see. I did get a little tired of the constant stream of homoerotic jokes, but I suppose it's to be expected for a movie that takes place in a prison, compounded by the fact that this is an Adam Sandler production. Like I said, as long as you know what you're getting into then you'll like what this movie presents. In my opinion, sometimes it's nice to see a movie that isn't trying to send a message or leave the viewer with any deep thoughts. I thought it was good, and I definitely recommend it if you want something fun to watch.