The Ring Two

The teaser claims that "fear will come full circle," but in actuality it just runs around in haphazard directions.

My major complaint with this movie, and all movies of this type in fact, is that the "fear" is invoked by showing you images of Samara (the Goth chick evil dead person girl) standing behind someone for about a half second. Or, they build the music up to make you think that something horrifying is about to happen, but once again, nope...it's just Samara Dead Person Chick standing around with her hair over her face. I suppose that the hair is supposed to make her look scarier, but to me, she just looked like a goth'd up version of Cousin It. The freaky son character, Aidan, looked a squillion times scarier than Samara Dead Person Chick, which seems to be the norm these days for scary movies. Make the kids look as creepy as possible by putting dark circles under their eyes and giving them the power of limited premonition. They can connect with the evil spirit that is killing everyone, and somehow intrinsically know the evil spirit's intentions and background and favorite color; but, instead of saying, "oh by the way, I know how to defeat this evil ghost that's trying to kill you," they draw pictures that later become pivotally relevant and watch as all the adults around them get slaughtered. I guess I can't blame them really, the characters who die off are usually pretty dumb, so I suppose it's more a method for cleaning up the gene pool.

Anyway. So basically we follow Rachel around as she investigates Samara Dead Person Chick yet again even though she already solved the mystery in the first movie. She's moved to a small town in order to put the horrors of the first movie behind her, but of course, Samara turns up again and this time she's out for blood. Well, actually, that's not what she's out for, but it would have made the movie a lot more interesting. From the previews we know that she's trying to take over Aidan's body (I won't tell you why, just in case you have the inclination to waste two hours on this movie). So just add in a bunch of scenes with "scary water" and long-haired Samara Dead Chick standing around scratching walls and whatnot, and you've got yourself the movie. Seriously, there is no point to this movie.

It's really a plot contrived simply to give this film its existence, which is why it sucks. Walking out of the theater after having seen the first Ring movie, I knew I was going to be creeped out for a week at least. This movie, however, left me feeling irritated at having spent the $10--I mean honestly, I could have bought like 3 coffees at Starbucks later that week. But no, I had to go caffeine-less, and then finally settle for the coffee in the office...damn you, Samara!