Two for the Money

I think this movie was trying to teach me some important life-truths, but I was so distracted by boredom that I fear I missed its intended lessons. Perhaps when I tune in to Jim Rome this week, he’ll spend his entire show explaining what I overlooked, since he has been zealously devoting so much time on his supposed sports show to marketing this film in recent weeks.

Two for the Money is a great movie to watch if you enjoy quality acting, and I suppose that if you can relate to gambling and its addictive characteristics then you will be especially touched by its message. Matthew McConaughey stars as Brandon Lang, a former college football star whose promising career ended with a deafening crunch of his knee. Apparently he chose to give up his pursuit of a healthy football contract as well as a college degree, because he finds himself working as a 1-900 operator in Vegas for a measly $10/hour. Suddenly, however, his astounding ability to accurately predict the outcomes of football games lands him a job offer from Walter Abrams (Al Pacino), a New York betting advisor who makes tons of money and likes to yell. Walter takes an immediate liking toward Brandon and gives him an office, an apartment, and a spot on the company’s weekly television show. The only stipulation to all this generosity is that Brandon assume the alter-ego of John Anthony—not, in this case, a mild-mannered reporter, but a slick and supremely confident a-hole in order to persuade clients to take his suggestions. Brandon/John makes the picks each week and advises the clients as to how much they should bet on each game. If the clients win on Brandon/John’s picks, then they pay a percentage to the company—if not, well, that’s not really the company’s problem.

At first Brandon is unsuccessful at assuming his new identity as John Anthony because he is pure of heart. He doesn’t cuss. He doesn’t drink. He doesn’t smoke. And he’ll be damned if he gambles. Inevitably, however, the f-word slips out one day, which symbolizes, I suppose, his predictable transformation into the cocky John Anthony. Walter is quick to applaud his new protégé for finally ditching his honorable nature, and he takes the opportunity to start spouting out metaphorical observations of human behavior, like how we’re all just lemons or some other crazy Al Pacino-ism. As we see from the previews, Brandon/John Anthony finally gets his comeuppance and has a horrendous weekend of bad predictions, which were no doubt caused by his new sports car and slick hairdo.

My problem with this movie was that I kept waiting, futilely as it turned out, for something to happen (or at least for Jim Rome to make his “starring” appearance that he kept going on about all week). Instead, Walter just wants Brandon to be his surrogate son, so he gets wheezy and has mini heart attacks, spews out a few rants occasionally, and Brandon learns a valuable lesson about letting sports remain pure. Walter is depicted in the previews as being a tyrannical gambling overlord with talons apparently, who only cares about money; in fact, he is a feeble and self-destructive gambling addict who loves his wife and wants Brandon to take over his company.

If you love Al Pacino or movies about gambling, then this film may surprise you. I think part of my disappointment comes from false advertising, because personally, I thought Two for the Money was just exceptionally tedious.